I also have photoshop open and waiting for me to draw something but that's not going to happen anytime soooon.
I have a couple of things I'm working on. Mostly inspired by my rping sessions. I have clubs I keep promising art to, and I often get partway through it all, but in the end life gets in the way and I just don't finish it because I keep feeling like it's not what I'm really capable of, and the only thing to do with it is to scrap it. I don't feel motivated so much by a lot of things that I used to love.

Buhh, here's where I want to go on this ramble about things going on in my life--nothing really particularly impacting on me I guess, but there's been definite anxiety and related issues springing from previously unknown or bottled-up areas. Logically I have no problem with anything, but emotionally I feel like... I'm not sure. Emotionally I feel sort of crap. Which is a rather annoying feeling to be having when everything in my life is actually pretty okay. I have a roof over my head, I have a job to pay for that roof and for extra fun things like buying the World of Darkness rulebook and going out with friends who are awesome, I have a lot of freedom in general that will make uni a lot more fun once we go back in a month's time, and life is looking up.

I guess the interesting thing is the shift in identity that's been occurring recently. I've cut a lot of people out of my life, and finally moved out of home. Moving out, while not all that great for my diet or sleeping pattern right now, has been a massively positive experience. That's having the greatest impact of all because now I can finally start figuring out who I am, though I'm not entirely sure what that means right now or who I want to be... all I know is that I don't want to be the same person as before, who constantly put other people's importance above her own but couldn't even prove her worth as anything to anyone because she was too busy hiding from her fears. I'm not going to have my personality controlled entirely by external factors any more. The tricky thing is just figuring out how to define who I am without building myself up purely on other people's expectations. I'm so used to acting a certain way because I have to be a good role model; because if I act on what I want then I'll be selfish and a disappointment and overall just bordering on pure evil, obviously. I can't be as perfect as people want me to be, or as selfless and submissive, or whatever other model of purity and faith my family wanted me to live up to... I think I'll be more outgoing though, and hopefully much more relaxed. I hope I can be a better friend than I have been over recent months, but I have to find a balance that allows me to do that without stressing about it and turning the act of maintaining a friendship into a chore. |D (You'd think that would be a fairly hard thing to do, but hey! I found a way. *facepalm*)

Anyway, so that's going on. Kind of irrelevant to a lot of people, sorry. This just felt like a good place to explain my mindset and feel like I'm getting it out into the open, without having to face judgement/criticism from certain people in my life.
Sooner or later I'll get on top of things and then there'll be more art from me, eventually, and hopefully just more happy socialising and fun, intense debates and eeeeverything. Probably later, but still, it'll happen.